Previews

When I was a boy* previews were things that came on rental videos, mostly before, but sometimes after, and less often, before and after, the "feature presentation". I've always liked watching movies, so seeing shorts, trailers, previews - whichever you prefer - was something of a bonus rather than a necessary evil to fast-forward through (corded remote control not withstanding).

For me nowadays these things - Previews - tend be (s)wanky affairs involving a lot of standing round drinking wine and eating nibbles (unless you get there early and get one of the too few seats) with a bunch of other people all looking round to see if they can spot that elusive "somebody". I often wonder who the rest of the people in the crowd are and why they're there. They can't all be reviewers can they? Sure, there are likely to be members of the cast and crew and their families and friends - if it's a local production. There'll be a couple of people from the distribution company, and of course everyone gets two comps so friends, partners and spouses thicken the mix. Still that must leave a fair gaggle of opinionated egotists, perhaps like myself, who feel that their thoughts are of great value and may somehow be representative. Scary.

A couple of glasses of wine, maybe some coffee, and a few of those small chicken 'bits' later and you're in a theatre whilst someone of relative importance is near the front - though usually off to the side?!? - giving a wee spiel about the film, inevitably ending with their own personal take on the "I hope you like it" plea. To be honest, I totally agree. I hope I like it too. And sometimes, after the next hour or two or three of viewing I come to the conclusion that I do. Sometimes I don't. But hey, I didn't pay to be here, and I get to say what I think about the film regardless.

Once the film ends the whole show is over pretty quickly and everyone disperses - some looking pensive, others verbally climaxing right in front of everyone. The wine and nibbles are long forgotten. The introductory spiel a distant dream. Hopefully the contents of the film are not quite so easily lost.

We get to see films before they are officially released then have the responsibility of giving some sense of what an audience can expect, without spelling out the storyline. The ironic thing is that these film previews almost never come with film previews...


*Actually, we only got our first video player when I was about 11. The first movie I rented was Conan the Barbarian. This will give you some idea as to my vintage.

First seed

Nothing special.
Just an excuse
to get this thing up
and running.

Here is a poem that was written some years ago:

Four Stages Please

Life writhes between your sweaty fingers thought you had a good grip on tv someone’s trying to fit eight and a half minutes of viewer entertainment between two forty minute chunks of moulded plastic you cared for nine of them until the bus came and you took a seat went somewhere seat’s comfortable enough uh oh tension mounts as the selection committee arrives not the fat guy guilt don’t stare could be harassment still waiting waiting something’s wrong light flashes now you’re paranoid breath is tested casually hope no one saw the hand probably a yawn doesn’t matter social conditioning still it won’t go finally but it’s still tense she doesn’t care or even want to know and you don’t try nerves probably thought there weren’t more five minutes of not looking uncomfortable silence except you wish you could shut up and it’s your stop lucky someone else pulled the cable someone else always pulls the cable

Anyone else find riding the bus to be a sometimes awkward experience?

OtL.